Dreams and obstacles

One of my dreams is to live in Japan with my girlfriend. We share that dream.

She got on a plane today and, as I write this, is halfway to Japan. I am not on that plane. I don't know exactly when I will see her again.

This is the tough part. There's a price to following your dream, that much is known. But what do you do when you're forced to chose between that which makes you happy every day and the chance to get your dreams? I shared my goals with you a while back. I never thought about putting Be with my partner, that's kind of a given isn't it?

This is the tough part. I love being with my girlfriend more than anything. We want to live in Japan. We chose for me to stay. We chose for her to go.

This is the tough part. Looking at your best friend and telling her, despite a burning desire to make her stay, that she should go.

We've dreamed of living in Japan. That is our dream. Or is it?

This is the tough part. It's not the struggle or the obstacles. It's having to face those struggles without remembering why you wanted the thing in the first place. It's saying go, when you want her to stay. When you can't remember why you're letting her go at all.

Is it worth it? You won't know that until you're 50. That's what my brother said. I think he's right; I wish he wasn't.

This is the tough part. My apartment is empty. Yesterday it was filled with the sound of video games, and laughter, and Gilmore Girls. Now it's filled with the whine of computer fans and fridge noises. And Gilmore Girls.

This is the tough part. Building a new life, if only for a short while, without the person that matters to me the most. The person around which I built my days.

This is the tough part. I'll let you know when it gets good.